The Dreaded Dummy!!!!!

 

We had a bit of a hard time this weekend with our oldest boy and his beloved dummy.  He is four now and for about the past year and a half has taken his dummy just at bed time, he literally has it about 5mins and he is out like a light.  Lately we have been telling him how big he is getting and that he really doesn't need a dummy anymore, in the hope that he will decide of his own accord to leave it out for the dummy fairy's. 

We have tried once before to get rid of the dummy, I took it away while he was at nursery and told him the dummy fairy's had taken it to give to a little baby who didn't have a dummy.  WELL!!!!  The hysterics were unreal, and he ended up being so terrified of the dummy fairy's coming into his room he didn't sleep for 3 nights, even after I had given him a new dummy.  So we had to tell him that the fairy's will only come for his dummy when he is ready to give it up and leaves it out for them.  So, has anyone spotted my mistakes. 
Mistake number 1:  The fact that my four year old should even have a dummy!!!! I can practically hear all you mummy's out there screaming at me, and I'm not even going to try and make any excuses for it, because I don't have any.
Mistake number 2:  Giving him back his dummy after I had taken it away.  I know, I know, I should have persevered then and I wouldn't be going through this now!!  Again I have no excuses, other than to say four year olds really know how to make you feel bad.
Mistake no 3:  Putting the ball in his court (so to speak), by saying they won't take it until HE is ready, I have now given him the control, as he constantly reminds me by saying "I'm not ready to give my dummy away yet mummy".

Anyway, this weekend we thought we were having a bit of a breakthrough.  The boy's go for a 'sleepover' at my sister's house once a month, and then in turn I will take her girls once a month.  This weekend was the boys turn and when packing their bag's, we couldn't find dummy anywhere, and we looked everywhere.  I thought disaster, it's six o'clock on a Saturday evening, where am I going to get a dummy.  But, miraculously my big boy didn't seen too bothered by it!!!!  He just said he 'wouldn't need it'.  Brilliant thought I, let's go with this!!  So we all made such a big deal about it, he thought he was the best thing since sliced bread.  Slept all night, no problem's at all.  Again the next day we made such a big deal, even bought him some moshi monster's, which I usually think is such a rip off and refuse to buy, but this was a special occasion!!!  All was good.  Until......
Bedtime, my big boy walks straight into his room, open's the train station's door (obviously a toy one) and lift's out dummy looking far too smug.  He had obviously known it was there all along.

I tried and I tried to get him to give it up, but to no avail.  So many people, have told me to just take it off him and put up the crying, he will stop in a day or two, but I just feel so guilty.  So, long story, that I haven't made any attempt to shorten.  We have compromised and are going to leave it out for Santa this year in exchange for an extra present.  I'm feeling quite defeated about the whole thing, I really thought we were getting somewhere.  Anyone out there with any advice is more than welcome to share it!!!